I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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