IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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