My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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