I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
