Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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