So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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