hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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