Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
