What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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