GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
