I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
