people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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