I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
why is half of my head shaved?
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