He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
