u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
