They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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