You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Too much gin, very little bucket
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
last night I used snow as a chaser
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
