so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize