If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
