I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
