So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
