butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
