i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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