I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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