Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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