My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize