Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
