we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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