I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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