In the future we'll all be gay
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
