do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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