i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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