Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
