I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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