I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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