I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Help. Why am I so naked?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize