i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I am naked and annoyed.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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