I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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