I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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