I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
