apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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