Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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