Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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