Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
