He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
