I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
