Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
