I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
