I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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