doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
