Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
