oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize