i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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