I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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