It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You may now shotgun with the bride
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
