Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
