who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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