You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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