the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
