stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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