dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
