worst night to have a conscience
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
