so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
